Saturday, March 13, 2004
March 9th, 2004
Today, I woke up to a sms message from someone who asked me to call him the day before.
In the sms message he was telling me not to contact him again. Feeling so confused about it I get up from the bed and head for the shower. While in the show I started to cry and thinking what did I do wrong and how lonely I am.
Then remembering a guy named Santi, and he was my first date ever and how immature I was and still am. Now thinking, how I wish no one had pushed so hard for us to be together, as now I know, that we could have been together today. He and I talked for ages and we got on great but me being scared of all the pushing and being immature about dating, I was just scared.
Not allowed to date until a very late age, I realised maybe that is why I am so immature around guys that I like a lot. I have many guy friends who I get along with as friends and nothing romantically.
While washing myself slowly and crying thinking about all of this. Slowly, I get out of the shower in a daze. Why can’t I find someone and why doesn’t anyone want me. Crying harder now, and wondering why, I have always been nice, honest and a caring person. I really need someone who will love me and I can love him back.
Today, I woke up to a sms message from someone who asked me to call him the day before.
In the sms message he was telling me not to contact him again. Feeling so confused about it I get up from the bed and head for the shower. While in the show I started to cry and thinking what did I do wrong and how lonely I am.
Then remembering a guy named Santi, and he was my first date ever and how immature I was and still am. Now thinking, how I wish no one had pushed so hard for us to be together, as now I know, that we could have been together today. He and I talked for ages and we got on great but me being scared of all the pushing and being immature about dating, I was just scared.
Not allowed to date until a very late age, I realised maybe that is why I am so immature around guys that I like a lot. I have many guy friends who I get along with as friends and nothing romantically.
While washing myself slowly and crying thinking about all of this. Slowly, I get out of the shower in a daze. Why can’t I find someone and why doesn’t anyone want me. Crying harder now, and wondering why, I have always been nice, honest and a caring person. I really need someone who will love me and I can love him back.
